


You Gotta Be Kitten Me.

by skyblue993



Series: Jonnor oneshots [43]
Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Fluff, Humor, I don't know what got into me when I named it xD, I'm personally ashamed of the name of this fic., Jonnor - Freeform, Jude owns a gingerbread, M/M, Romance, Who Occasionally Steals Underwear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 07:41:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9646745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyblue993/pseuds/skyblue993
Summary: AU Based off this prompt->“My cat steals underwear and I come home to find you chasing my cat to get your underwear back.”and this:“I needed a drink of water after my shower but I forgot that I opened the blinds to my balcony and you just saw me walk into my kitchen naked.”





	

Jude has always found himself agreeing to what people say about cats; smart, subtle, observing, are just a few on the long list of qualities that, according to the popular opinion, make cat one of the smarter animal ever lived. Jude had _visual proof_ of it when his cat, Mr. Gingerbread, proved to be smarter than half of the people he's met throughout his entire life.

He's always thought his cat was absolutely brilliant but this... _this is something else._

Jude lives in a residential neighborhood, a little ways out of San Diego. He's fallen in love with the place as soon as he was met by the sight of all these cute terraced houses, one next to each other, provided with driveway, backyard, cute white fence.. Those small details have mostly affected the choice name for his cat. Every time Jude left the house or came home from work, it felt like stepping into the magical world of Hansel and Gretel's fairytale.

One point in favor of this lovely neighborhood?

People.

People are nice, kind, all smiling, some are very good looking. Everyone knows everyone! Like, when Jude leaves the house, there's always someone greeting him good morning. There's Betty, the owner of the house on the right, taking her adorable Cocker Spaniel, Poppy out for her dirty business or Mackenzie, the cute girl next door doing a little morning gardening.. and then... there's Connor Stevens.

Jude has noticed Connor before the guy introduced to him, two days after moving in. Connor's house is at the other end of the street and Jude has immediately noticed that Connor has no habit to wear clothes while wandering around the house. It's not like he was peeking through his window-- that casually overlooks the street and consequently Connor's kitchen--  He was peacefully staring out the window, sipping homemade Margarita when he was met by the ethereal vision that is his neighbor Connor, walking completely naked into the kitchen to fill himself a glass of water. Jude's mouth went completely dry when, following the motion of the water greedily spilling down his throat, few droplets of cold water slid down the glass following the trail down from his neck to his naked chest. 

Jude, wide-eyed and flushed in the face, slammed the blinds shut before Connor took awareness of the audience currently thirsting over him.

"Holy fucking..."  
  
Jude's monologue was interrupted by a mewling noise coming from the threshold. Mr. Gingerbread was looking at him with those green beady eyes as he's already figured everything out just by staring at Jude.

"I can feel you judging.." Jude pointed a finger in his direction but the cat kept staring at him like he owned the world. "That was nothing." 

Mr. Gingerbread made another noise, less soft, more hoarse that for a brief moment reminded Jude of a laugh, before he watched him walk away, like he couldn't really bear with Jude's bullshits leaving his owner with short breath and rosy blush on his cheeks.

 

Jude was feeding Mr. Gingerbread some of his fancy kibble, when the doorbell rang. Jude's eyes snapped to Mr. Gingerbread and the cat was looking back at him. "I wonder who could that be.." 

The cat lowered his gaze to the bowl, making a wounded sound like a sigh. Jude frowned at the noise, wondering what the cat wanted to tell him with that sound but the doorbell rang again and Jude decided to let it go. He marched towards the door, peeking from the peephole and holy crap if he wasn't Connor Stevens in the flesh!  Jude looked down with horror at the apron he was currently wearing, hurrying towards the kitchen to get rid of it, All of that under the judgy look given by Mr. Gingerbread, watching his owner going all worked up over a boy. 

Jude gave a soft, nervous laugh before clearing his throat.... One quick look at the mirror and fast to the front door. 

Jude sprang the door open before greeting the boy with an over the top excited smile on his face. "Oh, hello!"

"Hey.." Jude couldn't help but notice that the boy looked good despite having clothes on. He felt a soft blush rising in his cheeks at the memory, but he mostly blamed it on the run he's made to the kitchen and back to the door.

"I don't think I've introduced myself, yet.. I'm Connor Stevens. I live right there." He said, pointing at the house right on the other end of the street. "I brought you some freshly baked cookies."

Jude couldn't do anything to hide the way his cheeks flushed pink, this time. "Oh... T-thank you.. t-that's really nice of you.. I'm.. I'm Jude Jacob."

The boy, whose Jude finally knew a name of, held out his hand. "Nice to meet you, Jude. Welcome to our neighborhood."

"T-Thanks." Jude smiled. "The pleasure is all mine." 

Connor's eyes flickered from Jude's face to look at something from over his shoulder. Jude turned around to see what the fuss was all about and realized how rude he was, in fact Mr. Gingerbread was sitting on his paws, staring at Jude expectantly as to say 'Are you going to introduce me to your new friend or..?"

"Hello, buddy!" 

Jude smiled before taking the cat into his arms, who made a soft, whining noise when Jude started to pet his head while talking to Connor, "This is Mr. Gingerbread." 

Connor was still smiling when he leaned in and Jude felt his breath hitch in his throat when the delicate scent of a cologne started filling his senses. 

"Hello, cutie."

Mr. Gingerbread fluttered shut as he leaned into Connor's soft touch, indicating that Connor was more than welcomed to keep petting him if he wanted to. Jude almost rolled his eyes at His cat. He was so greedy for cuddles, sometimes.

"He likes you." Jude smiled, watching his cat shamelessly starting to purr beneath Connor's touch. He was mostly jealous because he wanted Connor to pet him at the exact same way... but he had to admit that the sight was beyond adorable.

Connor's smiling eyes found Jude's, "I might like him back.. " 

Jude's heart skipped beats at the proximity of their faces. When did they become so close, anyway? Connor's eyes were so soft and gentle that made him choke on air.  Their eyes locked with each other and Jude swore he could lose himself into those hazel diamonds till the end of eternity.. then, of course, Mr. Gingerbread started fussing in Jude's arms, making soft, wounded noises as asking for attention.

Jude allowed himself to roll his eyes at his cat's psychotic diva moment, "He wants cuddles.. like all the time." 

Connor laughed, returning to pet his head. "Well, I've been told I'm an amazing cuddler." 

"Oh really?" Jude bit his lips, forcing back a smile to break free. "I'll keep that in mind.."

Connor's eyes met Jude's for a fragment of a second, something frisky flashing across them.. then he just smiled down at the cat in Jude's arms.

 

He meets Connor when he comes home from work, at 5 pm in perfect synchrony with the time Connor starts his daily jog. Which, in all honesty, being welcomed back home with the sight of Connor Stevens shirtless with jogging shorts stuck to his butt through the layer of sweat, it's a sight to behold and cherish until his dying breath.

"Give Mr. Gingerbread my regards!" Connor waves at him as he jogs past his driveway with the most perfect, whitest, brightest smile he's ever seen. Jude has to do a lot of efforts to raise his eyes from Connor's chest, hard-looking and prickled with sweat, to his gorgeous eyes but he manages, in the end.

"I--" _Jesus, get a grip._ He imposes himself. "I will!"

Connor's eyes light up with joy as he waves, "Bye Jude!"

"See ya, Connor!"

 

Jude comes back from grocery shopping, on a Saturday morning and the moment he steps into the house and greets his cat like he usually does whenever he comes back home, he immediately senses that something is off because, no matter what.. Mr. Gingerbread always shows up at the door when he hears Jude's car pulling into the driveway so when Jude's met by a heavy silence, panic starts flooding through him.

"Mr. Gingerbread?"

He goes checking in every room but there are no signs of his cat. 

"Oh my God! Mr. Gingerbread!" 

He rushes outside, screaming his cat's name in the streets but still not a glimpse of Mr. Gingerbread. His gaze casually falls on the door of Connor's house and before even making a decision, he rushes to the other end of the street as fast as he can, despite the way his heart is about to burst out of his chest, and starts erratically knocking on Connor's door until the boy finally opens the door. Jude's brain kind of shut down caused by the panic of the moment and the relief flooding into his chest at the same time when he sees Connor holding his cat into his arms but wait..

"Did you kidnap my cat?!"

Connor's eyes go wide at the accusation dripping off Jude's lips. 

"Excuse me?!"

Jude rolls his eyes, glaring at his neighbor that has always shown more interest in his cat than him.. the cuddles, the 'Give Mr. Gingerbread my regards!' and now this.

"Well, there's the only explanation I have to feed myself, considering your mutual obsession towards each other! I came home and there was no trace of my cat into the house and.. and I came here, asking for your help and yet, here he is. In your arms. Into your house. How can you explain that to me?"

Connor sends one long, startled look in his way, as he can't quite believe what Jude's even babbling about, now. Then, he just fights back Jude's accusations with the same ferocity. "I wouldn't keep him here if he wasn't going around in my backyard stealing my underwear!"

Jude's mouth falls open in a wet, incredulous laugh. His eyes blown wide in shock. "How dare you accusing a cat of stealing your underwear?! This is  completely ridiculous!"

"Why would that be so ridiculous?! I've spotted it in my backyard and then my underwear was gone from the clothesline! It's been happening for days!"

Jude gives a snort of indignation before yanking the cat out of Connor's hands, who doesn't seem to like the idea of leaving Connor's arms. Jude hisses in pain through gritted teeth when the cat starts fussing in his arms, scraping at Jude's arm with his nasty claws.

Jude must be used to it since it doesn't dissuade him from making a remark. 

"Mr. Stevens, Do you even own underwear since you like to wander around the house with no clothes on?"

Connor stares at him, completely agape in disbelief for a long moment before spitting back, "Well, let me ask you, Mr. Jacob. How do you even know about that? Does someone like to give a peek from his window?"

"Again and again with the unfounded Accusations! Do you have proofs that my cat is stealing your underwear or the fact that Apparently, I like to give a peek from my window whenever you decide that wearing clothes is just optional?"

"No and _yes._ " Connor looks equally mad and amused by all of this. "You wouldn't know about it if you weren't."

"This is completely outrageous." Jude makes a guttural noise of outrage from the back of his throat, before turning on his heels, his back facing Connor as he says, "Let's go Mr. Gingerbread." 

 

He takes the cat back to their house and the moment he puts him down, Mr. Gingerbread doesn't rub along the length of Jude's leg like he usually does while making cute mewling noises. He just looks up at Jude for a brief moment and then he just flees into the living room. Jude's completely weirded out by his cat's behavior so the most reasonable thing to do is to trail behind him, see what Mr. Gingerbread is up to. He walks into the living room and freezes on his step when he sees Mr. Gingerbread sliding out the small space separating the couch from the wall. 

Mr. Gingerbread completely ignores Jude in favor of being sprawled out on his favorite pillow. Jude's eyes go wide with horror when he spots, gathered on the further corner of the wall behind the couch, a ball of underwear which he knows... are definitely not his.

He glares at his cat, whose eyes were shot open just a moment before Jude made the terrible discovery, and now he's pretending to be asleep. Jude gives a sigh before pushing the piece of furniture afar from the wall so that his skinny frame would slide inside. He gathers Connor's underwear and marches towards the bathroom while mutturing under his breath why his cat has decided to make his life a living hell. He stuffs the boxer briefs into the washing machine and as thinks on a way to make amend to Connor for being such a rude, impulsive, jerk neighbor to him... it's easier said than done but eventually.. something crosses his mind.

 

Mr. Gingerbread, awaken by his fake slumber, jumps on the kitchen chair, startling Jude to death the moment he slides the tray of chocolate cookies with vanilla extract in the oven.

"Oh don't give me that look." Jude admonishes him with a stern edge in his voice, imposing himself to not go weak at the way his cat tilts his head to the side as asking for forgiveness. "You've made such a mess!" 

The cat gives a mewling sound as he jumps down from the chair and, when he starts rubbing along the length of Jude's leg he knows he's screwed. "I hate you so much, _Gingerbread._ " 

The cat keeps his ministration, almost undisturbed by Jude's words of hatred because he knows he doesn't mean any of them.

 

Jude carries the tray of cookies in one hand and a small blue package with white ribbon on it, in the other one as he makes his way to Connor's household. Despite his hands are quite full, he manages to ring the doorbell and every passing second weighs heavily on his chest as he waits for Connor to open the door.

Connor's definitely suprirsed to see Jude as soon as he opens the door, then a stern look is being throw in his way and Jude knows he deserves it.

"Okay.. I guess I deserve this."

"What are you doing here?" 

"I wanted to apologize for my behaviour. I must have looked like a crazy cat lady to you.."

"Nah.." Connor's voice gives away that it was exactly what he was thinking.

"It's okay.. I know I did and you'd be happy to know that you were right."

Connor's eyebrow archs up with interest at Jude's admission, "I was?"

Jude's face flushes crimson as he gives a soft nod of his head.

"That's okay.." Jude finally looks up when he hears an amused smile filling Connor's voice. "I kind of knew you were watching--"

"W-What? You knew?!"

"Yeah.. it's not a thing I do all the time.." Connor's voice trails off with a soft laugh escaping his lips while a delicate blush rises on his suntanned cheeks. "I noticed you since the day you came with the real estates lady for the house tour. I know I sound like a creep, right now but I really hoped you would move here..  anyway.. that first time you saw me naked, I.. I stepped out of the shower and I felt extremely thirsty so since I live alone, I thought, who cares if I walk around the house naked? Little did I know that I completely erased from my memory that the window was open. I.. I realized when I caught you looking at me. I don't think you saw me because you closed the blinds, right afterward."

"Y-yeah.. I can relate to that thirst.. I..I mean when I step out of the shower!"

Jude's cheeks quickly tinge rosy and flushed with embarrassment. Luckily, Connor finds the whole conversation utterly amusing since he's refraining himself from giggling.

"Anyway.. I-I brought you these." Jude hands the tray over to Connor whose smile gets even brighter if that's possible at the thought of Jude baking cookies for him. "I..I also brought you this." 

Connor eyes the box with curiosity filling his eyes, then he asks, "Do you want to come in?"

"Sure." 

 

They're in Connor's kitchen. Jude's sitting on the stool and stares at Connor in awe as he takes a bite to Jude's cookie. Jude finds himself smiling at the way Connor's eyes lit up like he's found religion in just one bite of the cookie.

"That's-- oh my God. Jude, these cookies are orgasmic!"

Jude legit blushes at the enthusiastic comment, then he shakes his head when Connor offers him one. His stomach is tight as a notch, right now.. twitching with nerves as he throws a glance at the small package laying undisturbed on Connor's counter..

"I think you should open that one.."

Connor frowns at him with mouth stuffed with cookies crumbles, then he stands up to grab the small package. He looks at him for a small moment before smiling at Jude. Jude manages to smile back as he watches Connor lifting the lid. Jude almost wants to slap himself for the short intake of breath coming from Connor's lips the moment he spots the content of it.

"Okay.. this.. this was unexpected."

"It's your underwear.."

Connor's eyes snap to Jude's. "I can see that." 

"Huh.. you were also right.. about, you know, Mr. Gingerbread stealing your underwear. I.. I don't know what went through his brain when he started doing that.. It's weird and I'm sorry for accusing you of accusing him and.. sorry for accusing you of kidnapping my cat."

Connor gives a humming sound of agreement, rubbing the back of his head as he says, "And I'm sorry for making unfounded, that then turned right, assumptions about you peeking from your window.."

Jude allows himself a cookie from the tray and when he takes the first bite, he has to admit that he's pretty proud of himself for those cookies. They're yummy.

  
"This is a quite pleasant peace offer, in my personal opinion.." 

Connor hums softly from the back of his throat, a fake innocent look on his face as he shrugs his shoulders, "I was thinking of a candlelight dinner at my place but this is pretty good, too."

Jude's heart stutters into his chest for the date proposition.. well.. not yet. Connor might be straight..  but it's best to check, isn't it?

"Y-Yes.. I'm really into the idea but.. a-as a date?"

"Yes. Dude.. I.. I showed myself naked to you. I think we got that part covered, unlike something else." Connor laughs.

"Just checking." Jude smiles, bright and happy. 

 

The Chocolate cookies with vanilla extract, Jude realizes later that same afternoon, taste even yummier on Connor's tongue. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on twitter: En_sky9
> 
> Tumblr: skyblue993
> 
> Every feedback is appreciated :)


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